awakenings 26 May 2003 3:31 P.M.
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SO, I'm in the best mood I've been for a good while now, a month or so at least. It's sunny outside, I saw X2 this afternoon (which was so fucking good. wow.), and I just finished a yummy lunch from In-n-Out. All that wouldn't matter, if it weren't for the fact that the girl I care for told me she can't be with me right now. On face value, this isn't a good thing. But I have emerged from the fog of uncertainty and paranoia that has clouded my life for the past month. I now at least have hope. It's not easy to have hope. As Iceman said about Rogue in the movie today, it hurts when you want to be closer to someone, but can't be. I may never get to hold her in my arms again, and that would hurt terribly if it were to happen. But at least now I know it's not something I've done to drive her away. I told her once that she made my heart ache and my mouth smile at the same time. She still makes my heart ache.
But, at least now the smile can begin to creep back in.
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